That’s immortali-TEA, my darlings

S01:E06 – Jenna Marshall is lost

“Don’t you just love a homecoming episode?” begins Yasemin, although neither of these Brits actually know what a homecoming even is.  “If you’re American, let us know what it means,” she adds. The sixth episode of season one, entitled “No Place like Homecoming”, begins with the liars giving Aria an intervention which means we’re treated to a flashback, much to your hosts’ disgust. “Spencer saves us all,” Lacey says with relief when Spencer tells her friends that she’s going to take her country club boo, Alex, to homecoming and for a moment Pretty Little Liars is just like any other teen show. But of course, an A message via a fortune cookie reminds us of why we love this show so much. 

Aria who, as usual, causes heated discussion amongst your hosts throughout the episode, seems particularly miffed at her intervention being gate crashed. “I’ve lost my pedo of a boyfriend, my parents hate each other and now my fortune cookie is ruining my life – screw this,” Yasemin mocks.  

Despite this, homecoming is the titular event of this episode, it takes an awful lot of build-up to get there. While Hanna debates how to beat her 40-year-old rival for homecoming queen – “It was some extra they found round the corner – it was like, you’ll do. You’re Heather Perez,” explains Lacey - Emily does the most to try and avoid Maya in the halls making lame excuses. “You are 16 years old,” adds Yasemin. “You are not busy.”  

A new drinking game is introduced (alcoholics anonymous, anyone?) – in addition to in mirror shots, any mention or sighting of ‘Go Sharks’ also initiates a sip of your drink. Although, maybe for Lacey it’s just an excuse. “I clung to that sign” she says as she swigs her wine before an Ezria scene plays. She later adds another drinking rule whereby any shot looking out through the ridiculously large cafeteria window equals a sip. Meanwhile, poor Yasemin suffers through it sober. 

Spencer and Hanna discover Toby’s tattoo (901 Free At Last) in a scene that has Lacey and Yasemin drooling while the liars are further flummoxed by the fact notorious loner Tony has snagged himself two tickets to homecoming. Yasemin adds: “I thought that they were going to suspect ‘who is it? Who is he taking?’ But they think, automatically, that it’s Jenna and they’re going to kill them.” The new information about Toby spurs Spencer’s manhunt for them and, unbothered about Hanna’s homecoming woes, she insists her friend steals Jenna’s file from the psychiatrist's office.  

During the build up there are several cute couple scenes (not you, Ezria. Never you!) where both Toby and Alex have your hosts swooning but of course, Aria could never let us forget about her grooming Romeo as she spends most of the episode pining for him. 

Trying to lure Aria from her self-pity party, and to also secure another vote for homecoming queen, Hanna pushes her friend to come to homecoming after all by offering her a choice of two dresses – one of which forces Lacey to reminisce on another well-known teen drama. “As soon as I saw that dress I got PTSD – I was like: That’s the dress – I bet that’s made out of business material,” she tells Yasemin after treating the listeners to an excerpt of Anna Todd’s infamous Wattpad story turned bestselling novel, After. 

Eventually the liars make it to homecoming and your hosts are in awe of its extravagance, recalling that their own school discos were a little lower budget. “I was lucky if we had a CD that had the most recent artists on it at our school parties. It was normally crazy frog, big fish little fish cardboard box,” Lacey adds. Despite the drama of the episode, perhaps the biggest shock was the Toyota Corolla raffle taking place at this school dance. “Is this an advert? They big up this car eight times this episode,” says Lacey. 

At the homecoming, barely anyone gets Lacey and Yasemins’s seal of approval when it comes to their attire. From Spencer’s lacklustre strapless silver dress to Hanna’s updo that ages her by 20 years, even surprise guest Melissa is ridiculed for her 70s blowout. Aria almost escapes their criticism, but new lighting reveals her dress to be more in line with her character – rubbish. Only Emily receives praise: “She looks really nice, she looks really pretty,” adds the President of her hate club Yasemin. 

But Emily yet again crushes another character’s heart when she walks into homecoming not with Maya, but hand-in-hand with Toby Cavanaugh much to her friends’ shock. She’s so confused as to why her biggest ally Hanna ever thought she’d like Maya. “Emily says Maya’s name like it’s a piece of dogshit on the bottom of her shoe,” observes Lacey. Despite the obvious tension, Emily and Toby have a great time at homecoming until that scene at the end. As they enjoy the elaborate carnival, the rest of the liars worry for Emily’s safety. Except Aria who, of course, is more preoccupied with Ezra and his Hitler Youth haircut. 

She follows him out onto the hall when he stomps off after seeing her have fun with an age-appropriate boy, gaslighting her into loving him even more. “I was being sick in my mouth and Aria gives him the biggest puppy dog eyes and I’m like Aria, please, have some self control,” says Yasemin. 

Melissa causes drama with Alex and Spencer before she relives her glory days as Rosewood’s homecoming queen, taking up too much stage time in the lead up to Sean and Hanna’s crowning. Unfortunately for Sean, Hanna has left with Lucas to retrieve Jenna’s file and he’s left standing alone on the stage, much to Melissa’s joy. 

But the drama truly unfolds when Hanna discovers Toby’s file instead and reveals the true nature of his and Jenna’s relationship - “Toby’s not a virgin?” asks Lacey. Convinced Toby is the devil incarnate, the liars try to reach Emily who has wandered off with “Ali’s killer” according to a text by Aria. 

With the tensions rising, your hosts find humour in the dramatics of the episodes final scenes, becoming more preoccupied with Jenna and how she ended up in the hall of mirrors (yes, the school dance has that too). Yasemin asks: “How did Jenna get there? How did she - she must have crawled there and butted into doors.” 

Jenna isn’t the only one to end up with concussion this homecoming when Toby gets a little heated with Emily and scares her off in a cliffhanger ending. 

This episode is full of drama, fun and shock factor whereby perhaps the most shocking of all is found at the end of the episode as Yasemin gives her favourite liar.  

 

 

Quotes 

“Hanna says ‘I’m starving’, goes for the fortune cookies – who goes for the cookies first if you’re hungry?” – Yasemin [10m34s-10m40s] 

“Oh no, we’re not meeting on the dirty step where you’ve just been sleeping on a couch. You didn’t just snog my sister and then come into my room to touch my bursa sac.” – Lacey [30m46s-30m56s] 

“Imagine being, I don’t even know how old she is, 23 and going to your high school or secondary school to present a crown for some dance. That sounds so lame, as Toby would say: That is so lame! That is so sad. Does [Melissa] not have a life?” – Yasemin [44m33s-44m51s] 

“Aria’s going to the beanbag toss and there’s a tosser there – his name is Ezra.” – Lacey [48m25s-48m29s] 

“They’re friends because they didn’t have anyone else and they were both unpopular. Hanna was fat. Mona was a dork. And they just kind of found each other and became popular and then that’s it. That’s their friendship.” – Yasemin [47m44s-47m56s] 

“I read and love romance novels – this scene by anyone who is not 9,000 years older than the girl he’s talking to would be absolutely, I would be lapping this up in a romance novel.” - Lacey [1hr12m57s-1hr13m08s] 

 

 

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S01:E05 - Yasemin loses it

“I’m going to be bloody smashed at the end of this,” laments Lacey as she and Yasemin introduce a new drinking game in the fifth episode of season one of Pretty Little Liars, Reality Bites Me. To play along at home, listeners need only to take a sip every time there’s a mirror shot… of which there are many. Your hosts could only hope the alcohol would numb the pain of the horrors of this episode.

No man is safe from Yasemin’s wrath as she begins by ripping Byron Montgomery to shreds, mocking his parenting and the way he handles his wife’s reaction to finally learning about his year-old affair. She and Lacey rally behind Ella while she tries to sort out her feelings and figure out what to do next. As for her daughter, they’re a little less forgiving.

When Ezra tells Aria that he’ll have to hurt himself if his reading sucks, Lacey prays for his demise. “He’s so fake humble,” she adds with disgust but as Yasemin says: “Aria is no longer helping the situation.” Taking her fawning over Ezra into the public eye at a pub, Aria catches the attention of one of his old college mates – known as Hardy or Artie depending on the timestamp – and Yasemin finally wakes up to their inappropriate relationship, although initially her anger seems misplaced. By the end of the episode, however, even Ezra gets on her nerves. “He’s full of hypocrisy and I just can’t take it, he’s pissing me off.”

Even sweet, wouldn’t-hurt-a-fly Emily gets rinsed by Yasemin. After forming a bond with Toby over shared music tastes, Emily promises to meet him at the Rosewood Grill only to snub him for her friends. “Betrayal,” Yasemin spits. “Stabbed in the back.” However, Lacey for once is Team Emily – pointing out that Emily followed the gossip and even she would do the same. “I will go where the tea is,” Lacey says. “Maybe Toby has a lot of tea, you’ll never know because you weren’t there,” Yasemin shoots back.

At the Rosewood Grill, Emily catches up with Spencer and Hanna’s lives. The latter is serving time at her (ex?) boyfriend’s mother’s dentist office, where she bumps into the infamous Jenna who Yasemin briefly forgets is blind, not deaf. This episode sees Hanna go undercover in more ways than one – taking on an alter ego find out more about Jenna and why she’s at the dentist office, as well as internet stalking Sean’s potential new boo.

Spencer’s dad comes home, and he needs her to help him win over some clients at the country club, where Spencer finally meets an age-appropriate boyfriend. Spencer and her father butt heads over what it means to win in the Hastings family.

“Honestly, whoever produces Pretty Little Liars needs to pay for my therapy,” Lacey says during this very passionate episode.

 

Quotes

“I have a question – why is a dentist person wearing a cat top. Why has it got cat on it? Why has it not got teeth on it or something? I was like ooh, is it a vet? ‘Cause it just implies vet not the dentist.” – Yasemin

“And [Jenna] kind of click clacks down the hallway, as usual, and Hanna follows her, totally not suspiciously and really not weirdly and definitely like a normal person would walk down the hallway.” - Lacey

“The only problem, in Hardy’s eyes, is that she’s his student, but she’s also underage. So, if she was his student or not – it’s wrong. She’s sixteen and you are what? 24, 25? You are a paedophile!” – Yasemin

“I love this, I love that you’re matching my energy. I thought I was going to be absolutely ruining Ezra’s character and you were going to be coming back to me like, no it’s cute!” – Lacey

“[Spencer’s] so desperate I’m like hun, it’s just tennis. It’s not life or death – honestly, you’d think that she was competing for Wimbledon.” - Yasemin

“Okay, I do not support [Ezria] in any way, shape or form – but if I was trying to rizz on my teacher and he invited me to a bar which, again, how does she even keep getting into bars underage, she’s just there, although I don’t think she drinks, anyway, but back to my point, I don’t think I’d tell some random guy that he’s my teacher.” – Lacey

 

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S01:E04 - Aria’s Cat Stuffing Aunt Ruth

S01:E04 – Can You Hear Me Now?

Your hosts Yasemin and Lacey continue to be baffled by the geography of Rosewood as well as the early 2010 graphic design choices featured in this episode as the girls finally do what viewers have been screaming at them since episode one – block A!

This episode features a wonderful story about Aria’s definitely-not-crazy Aunt Ruth and the liars’ scary attention to detail when it comes to shades of red, as well as the answer to a question everyone has been asking: Does Hanna Sail? It also debuts the first S.O.S text of the series as, despite being digitally ghosted, A finds a way to continue to torture the liars in creative and illegal ways.

Speaking of ghosted, Hanna hears from her dad for the first time in a year after the “minor incident” with her boyfriend’s car. Excited to show off the whole two pounds she’s lost, Hanna’s hopes are crushed when Tom Marin reveals his true intentions. Spencer takes charge of Alison’s bracelet and the crusade against A, only to find she’s blocked more than her tormentor when a former fling comes crashing through the kitchen door, and an argument with Ezra makes Aria reconsider telling her mother about the affair before she’s beaten to it by a letter. Meanwhile Emily overthinks a gift from Maya and channels her inner Edward Cullen in science class when she’s given a new lab partner.

Listen to find out just who Ezra reminds Yasemin of and reminisce on all the ways we used to communicate before texting existed. Kids these days just don’t appreciate a good ol’ radio dedication!

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S01:E03 - Click clack, Toby’s back!

S01:E03 – To Kill a Mocking Girl

Yasemin and Lacey are back with a more reasonable length of podcast, although one certainly filled with excitement as the girls gear up for the party of the year and Detective Wilden really hones in on the important things like Hanna’s yearbook photo and the real reason butter is so spreadable.

This episode introduces Noel Kahn and Toby Cavanagh as well as the return of Byron’s lover, Meredith, and includes not mosquitos, but NATS!

As usual, the liars’ lives are plagued with drama. Spencer shows no remorse as her sister Melissa is faced with the fallout of her failed engagement, Aria invites Ezra on a field trip to her mum’s gallery (really, what was she thinking?) while an unexpected saviour gives Emily the confidence to finally end it with Ben. Meanwhile, Hanna and Sean don’t see eye-to-eye on what it means to ‘score’ and Ashley Marin embraces her inner Mama Bear.

With a bit of a crash ending, this is one episode you don’t want to miss.

 

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S01:E02 - Not all men are creeps (but most of the Rosewood ones are)

S01:E02 – The Jenna Thing

Despite declaring the episode one where “nothing happens” your hosts Yasemin and Lacey manage to cook up a two-and-a-half-hour deep dive into its faults, all the while pondering the burning questions you want to know the answers to: What’s on the Apple Rose Grill’s menu? What do the PLL parents do for a living, exactly? And finally, what the heck is the Jenna thing?

This episode features the introduction of two new characters, an overzealous stink bomb, some questionable fashion choices, and even more questionable behaviour from men too old to be talking to 16-year-olds like that.

As Wilden becomes more aggressive in his investigation, Ezra and Aria take ‘extra credit’ to a whole new level at the movies. Wren also forgets which sister he’s supposed to be marrying (hint: it’s the one who can legally order her own alcoholic drink). Meanwhile, Emily gets a little closer to Maya right under good ol’ Pam’s nose and Hanna doubts her totally age-appropriate relationship.

Your hosts also reminisce on their own school days as Lacey recounts a traumatic hockey injury and Yasemin relates to Aria with her very own teacher crush. Ooh la la!

 

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S01:E01 -The ”Iconic” Pilot

Holy crap, it’s the first episode!

 

Your hosts Yasemin and Lacey relive the first ever episode of Pretty Little Liars and its iconic characters: Ali “The Missing” DiLaurentis, Spencer “Jailbait” Hastings, “Hefty” Hanna Marin, Aria “Teacher’s Pet” Montgomery and the other one, what’sherface? Oh, Emily Fields.

Listen as they detail all the iconic moments from Ali’s disappearance, Aria’s extracurricular activities, Hanna’s sticky fingers, Spencer’s (sorry, Melissa’s) new boo, and whatever the hell is going down in Emily’s neighbourhood.

Free bursa sac massages to everyone who rates and reviews. Also remember to follow us on tiktok and Instagram @immortalitea.podcast or A will get you xoxo

 

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Introducing That’s Immortali-tea, my darlings - a Pretty Little Liars Podcast

Welcome to That’s Immortali-tea, my darlings - a Pretty Little Liars recap podcast.

Get to know your hosts, Yasemin and Lacey, as they talk about their history with the iconic teen show and what to expect as the podcast progresses.

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